Monday 10 September 2018

A SPECIAL CHAPTER FOR YOUNG WOMEN. MARRIAGE.

A SPECIAL CHAPTER FOR YOUNG WOMEN.


MARRIAGE.

Advice upon this subject is very much needed. I am assured that it is a subject not often talked of in families—at least, as it ought to be—nor is it much alluded to in the pulpit, and the result is that young people commonly get their notions about it from those only a little older than themselves, and who therefore know but little more than they do, or from those who form their opinions from the abuse they see of it and so hold degrading and unworthy ideas respecting it. Sometimes all that is known about it amounts to this, that it is a delightful thing to be married.

It is quite true that it often is, and always ought to be, delightful; still, you know it is frequently the reverse. You cannot, then, be too cautious in the matter.

Nothing can be more orderly, right, proper, and holy than marriage. It is not, however, quite so simple an affair as you may fancy. Every good thing (and this is one of the best) requires some effort to obtain it, and unless you take the right course you must not expect to succeed.

You may often see a young woman who, from not entertaining correct views on the point, is certainly taking a wrong course, her endeavors being rather to make what she considers a good match than by acquiring kind and orderly habits to qualify herself to become worthy of a worthy husband.

That the best things are liable to the greatest abuses is notorious, and from the lamentable fact that marriage is often abused we may fairly infer its pre-eminent worth. In truth, there is nothing more valuable. It is, then, highly injurious to entertain low notions respecting it, and men who indulge in loose conversation on the subject are likely at the same time to think meanly of women. Beware of them, and if you hear them expressing such opinions in your presence, withdraw from them at once as unworthy of your company. Never fear but they will respect you the more for the rebuke.

[74]Of course you are looking forward to settling happily, and will do your best for that purpose. On this let me remark that all happiness (that is, all that is genuine, and therefore worthy of the name) comes from connection with the one great source of all good, and He has freely and fully provided all the means necessary for our being happy, both here and hereafter. He has placed each of us where it is best for us to be, and in the circumstances that are best for us at the time, and this applies to you and to me now. Howsoever much appearances may be to the contrary, He cares as much for each of us as if we were the sole objects of His care. It is only by doing our duty in humble dependence on His assistance, which He never withholds, that we can be happy. It behooves you, then, to consider well what is your duty, in order that you may do it and may enjoy the blessings He is so ready to bestow. I hope you may have been a loving and dutiful daughter, an affectionate sister, and a faithful friend; then you may have good ground of hope for the future.
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 WHEN A PROSPECT OF MARRIAGE

occurs you cannot do better than consult your mother, aunt, or other discreet relative that has your welfare at heart, from whom you may reasonably expect the best and most disinterested advice; and this it will be well for you to be guided by. Women of mature years can judge far better than you whether a man is likely to make a good husband. You should likewise quietly and cautiously make your own observations among your married acquaintances, especially where you believe there is a comfortable and happy home. You will doubtless find that to a very great extent this happy home depends on the wife's management and economy. Very often it happens that when two husbands have the same income, with the same number of children, there will be comfort in the one home and discomfort in the other. Now, there must be a reason for this, and you should endeavor to find it out and profit by the lesson. It is said “Cleanliness is next to godliness,” and truly the value of cleanliness cannot be overrated. In point of time, it should go before godliness, for where there is not cleanliness there can hardly be godliness; and the health of body and mind are greatly dependent on these two. Moreover, where can there be complete happiness without health?
One of the most prolific sources of matrimonial difficulties is the lack of knowledge on the part of wives of the duties of housekeeping. In these [75]days there are a hundred young ladies who can drum on the piano to one who can make a good loaf of bread.

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